Financial/Relationship Peace Night 1

Last night was the first night of the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace class and the non Dave Ramsey relationship section.

It was pretty interesting and I will be going back next week for night 2. So far nothing surprising in the financial section. We talked about the importance of having an emergency fund of at least 1000 dollars as soon as possible, then paying everything off (however we didn't get into any details on that yet) followed by saving another 3-6 months of expenses. Also how important it is to save up to buy things like cars and furniture. I can honestly say I have never financed furniture. I'm sure if you ever stop by for a visit it won't be a surprise to you. I had my last living room furniture for 10 years. I think it could have lasted another few years but Abbey dropped an iron on it while crafting and singed a hole in it, plus I was moving in with Greg (if you weren't around 2 years ago for that don't worry it didn't last long) So, I found myself needing living room furniture again. To further make my point, I don't even have flat screen TV's because I can't justify getting rid of the ones I have because they work perfectly fine.

The relationship portion started with her asking us what marriage looked like to us. We were suppose to draw a picture or just list words. I drew a very crude stick couple the guy with a stick knife. I was just being funny, neither of my husbands tried to kill me (that I know of). I wanted to leave the page blank because that is a better representation. But we had to put something. The girl beside me drew a couple in a boat going off a waterfall. A girl volunteered to share her story. She had been married three times and all three men used her kindness and left her with no money and no retirement. I hate to say but It was nice knowing I am not the only person with bad relationship luck.

The things we were suppose to take away from this was we can't change our partners but we can change ourselves. I'm not really sure if she was saying we should change ourselves to be more what they want. If that's the case I can already tell you I don't want to do that. We should make decisions as a couple deciding together not letting it slide. And that everyone wants to feel needed, cared for, and fully accepted.

We should feel safe to talk openly without fear. We should have a signal that we need a time out so we can leave the conversation until we have composure to continue. The trainer was telling us that one guy said the signal for him and his girlfriend was  to flip each other off. Not sure that would calm me down, but who am I to tell someone what their signal should be.

So that was the high points of the night. I'm looking forward to next Wednesday for night 2.

12 comments

  1. I'm glad the Dave Ramsey class went well, how many are there?

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  2. There are 5 more.

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  3. I feel the same way about my TV. It's only 32 inches but it works. Some people mock how tiny it is but why would I buy a new one?!

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  4. Sounds interesting. I'm glad the finance part was good. The relationship part sounds kind of weird.

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  5. I'm curious as to what she meant. I read a couple of relationship books and the one (Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus) seemed to assume that the woman was reading it, and willing to implement the techniques and that the guy wasn't as interested in putting forth that same effort. So it was kind of sad - like why should you have to work at something when the other person won't help - but I guess useful, because there probably are a lot of people who want to make positive changes and have to work around their partner's apathy. And some of the suggestions would get your partner to change over time, but it was more like subconscious change - "if you do this, they'll do that" kind of approach.

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  6. and I don't believe the subconscious change works. I read and did the love dare when my marriages were failing and it didn't work at all. My first husband at least agreed to do it with me but he stopped because he said he couldn't complete the first challenge which was to go all day without thinking negative thoughts about me.

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  7. It does seem a little odd. I can't wait to see how this all unfolds.

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  8. I think my largest may just be a 32" also. I can think of so many other things to spend my money on.

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  9. haha you say its hard not to think negative thoughts about me? I really do have that effect on people.

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  10. Phhht. :p
    No, you silly goon. You know durn full well what I mean. *poke*

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  11. In fairness, that's an impossible challenge; or at least, it's not a challenge whose success or failure will have anything to do with the effort a person makes. (Unless you count spending all day on a bender, and setting pretty good odds of not thinking of much of anything at all...)

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  12. So I guess I wouldn't say it works for everything, but I've noticed the way I ask my boyfriend to do something makes a difference. If I say, "The trash is full, can you do something about that at some point?" It will never get done. But if I say, "Please take the trash out" he actually does it. So because I changed the way I asked, he's more willing to do chores, without us actually having to have a conversation about it.

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