A Night at the Funeral Home

Karen shared a scary story today for Halloween, and since its been a crazy busy week getting ready for state this weekend that I hadn't given the holiday much thought. Like seriously, I was buying candy and costumes last night. Procrastinate much?

This story starts the week of my 19 birthday and culminates a week later.

The week of my 19 birthday, I had a bad feeling. Like something awful was going to happen. My feelings were so strong I started settling my affairs and destroying anything I didn't want people to find if I was dead. My foreboding feeling was really that strong. We were making our yearly trip to Kings Island, an amusement park a few hours away. I couldn't shake this feeling so I got it in my head that I must be going to die on this trip. I know, that's dramatic, but I couldn't think of anything else that would cause me to have such a high level of anxiety. My douchebag of a boyfriend broke up with me on my birthday...and the feeling still stayed with me that something even worse than that was going to happen.

The trip came and went and nothing happened. Unless you count stopping for breakfast and every single thing we ordered tasted rotten. My cousin Eric was with us and he said "your water looks tasty"Even the bacon was gross. I'm surprised none of us got sick.I was happy that I was still alive but the feeling didn't go away.  I went back to school and tried to calm myself because this had to be some weird hormonal issue.....right?

My mom called me a week after my birthday to tell me my grandma, was in the hospital and it didn't look good. She came home from registering my cousin Eric for high school and started throwing up blood. (She adopted Eric from my aunt) School was an hour away and I didn't have a car on campus. Mom was coming to get me while dad stayed at the hospital with his mom. On the trip home from school, I saw the biggest, reddest, fullest moon I had ever seen. The feeling of anxiety and anticipation of some huge awful event, left me as quickly as it came. I said, she's gone. And she was. 

My family has a tradition that we stay up with the dead. Whenever someone in my family dies someone or a group of someones stay at the funeral home the entire time that they are there. We always use the same funeral home and they are just use to us doing that. I've spent the night there with several of my relatives so this night in question was not a new experience. However, what happened while we were there was a new experience.

 On the night she was laid out, after the last visitor left, the group I was with, consisting of  my mom, dad, sister, my aunt and uncle, went out to the carport and sat. My grandma was in the first room on the right. There were no other bodies laid out at this time. We sat out there for hours with the door to the funeral home propped open. We told stories and reminisced. While sitting out there I started to shiver and feel cold. This was early August so the temp in Kentucky is always hot and sticky humid.I had no idea why I was shaking so badly and my teeth were starting to chatter. I noticed the swirling of shadows above the covered carport. I didn't feel concerned about this though. Looking back, I'm really not sure why I didn't feel concerned. We all stood up after awhile to go to the restroom, stretch our legs, and go back inside where grandma was. Just as we get to the door (which was only a few steps from where we were sitting) We heard my grandma speak. She said Carrie three distinct times. We froze and stared at each other. Trying to determine if we were having a collective hallucination.

We walked in a scared huddle into the room she lay in and nothing was out of place. I don't know if I half expected her to be sitting up and wondering where we were and what the fuss was about, but she wasn't. She was still in the position the funeral director placed her in.


My superstitions

I'm linking up with Helene again  today. I couldn't resist talking about what I'm superstitious about. I have always had black cats so that doesn't bother me. I don't mind 666. I don't even mind 1313 that was the room number to my dorm for several years. But here is what I am superstitious about.

  • I knock on wood 
  • I make a wish on eyelashes.....I also make a wish when my necklace has turned around to the clasp in the front. I don't know where I learned that from or why I started doing it, but I do.
  •  Another one I have no idea where I got it was, if I see a full moon through a window (for the first time that night) I have to flip a coin in my pocket. I keep change in my car just in case I have to flip something. That one is crazy, I know.
  • If I see a penny I pick it up, but only if it is heads up. 

Helene in Between Blogtober

a creepy story for Halloween

In celebration of Halloween this weekend. I wanted to share a creepy story with you.

It was a dark and stormy night. Ok no it wasn't. But it was night. This happened way back in high school.  I was spending the night with my best friend. Her dad was a farmer and they had bought land that had an old house on it. They never used the house, just the field and the barn. Then the house they lived in burned and they were forced to live in the old farm house until theirs was rebuilt. This house was in the middle of no where, at the county line, and beside a cemetery.

Her dad was working late in the field, so the only people home were her mom, me and her, and her brother and a friend of his. I was in her room while she ran down stairs to get something. No one else was upstairs.Her bedroom was at the top of the stairs and her bed faced the door. I saw a make figure walk up the stairs, walk past her room and walk down the hall.

I don't know why but I got up to follow this person. The hallway was dark and the end of the hall only had 2 rooms. Her parents room and a storage room that they had never been able to get the door open to. I got to her parents room and it was empty. I turned to leave and heard something moving in the storage room.

I went downstairs and found everyone sitting on the couch. I told them about the man walking up the stairs and the noise in the storage room. That's when they told me a previous owner of the house had committed suicide........in that room.

Who do you decorate for?

I am addicted to reading Addicted 2 Decorating. She is a wonder woman. She just remodeled her kitchen from the studs up and 90% on her own. Our homes were built the same year, however hers is a little bigger than mine. So, I soak up every post she writes and dream about the day that I take the plunge and do something daring with my house. She just painted her kitchen cabinets green. It looks AMAZING!

A couple of days ago she wrote a post about decorating for yourself, not for resale and some future unknown buyer of your house.  I have moved 6 times in the last 5 years. Even when I thought I was settled and wouldn't have to move again (with moves 2,4 and 5) I still ended up having to pack up my life and move. The longest I have lived anywhere Since I was 18 is 5 years. At the house I lived in for 5 years, I was daring. I painted the bathroom a brownish colored called Brown Paper. You can guess it looked like brown paper. I did a faux paint treatment on the livingroom and hall way so it looked like suede. I thought it was amazing. People visiting would always reach out and touch it because it looked textured. Abbey's room was a teal. Emmy's room had a ladybug theme so I took the paddles off the ceiling fan and painted them and added lady bug spots. I had no problem wielding a paintbrush. Its just paint after all. It can be changed. I think the constant moving has messed with my creativity.

Now I live in a house that I bought and not one that I share with a significant other.  It makes a difference. I know I won't have to ever move (unless Chase bank makes me) But now I find myself in a almost decorating paralysis. Big ideas I had several homes ago, I have no drive to do now. I second and third guess myself at every turn and other than unpacking the only thing I have done is paint Abbey's bedroom. I have a box of paint chips that I have collected over the years. I have pinterest boards and Houzz idea books. Basically,  I have ideas that I can't settle on.

Why is decorating for yourself so hard? Or is it just me that thinks having free rein to do whatever I want is such a scary and daunting task? I literally have no idea where to start. Hell, I was so excited to buy a house with a fire place and I still haven't even done anything with it.

There is a house on my street that sold the week before mine. They have been busy since the moment they closed. Ive seen them drag all their cabinets into the carport and refinish them (btw...they look awesome and I kinda want to ask them to do mine). If I can ever decide what exactly I want.

I have never really been an indecisive person. I've always just used my gut and jumped feet first into every idea I have. I have no idea where this fear of change is coming from.  But, I hope it goes away soon. I want to be able to show you pretty before and after pictures.

Biggest Fear

I'm linking up with Helene today for her Blogtober challenge. Today's promt is my biggest fear.

Fear is a weird thing. Its something that varies from person to person. For example, sometimes I feel like the only girl in the world that doesn't have a fear of spiders. I do have a mild paralyzing fear of the dark. I don't like not being able to see what is hiding in the shadows. That is seriously the moment that a zombie, vampire or crazy escaped psycho will come to kill you.

I wouldn't even remotely consider that my biggest fear.

I fear falling, car wrecks, house fires. But those aren't my biggest fear.

I fear snakes, lack of cell service. oh, especially lack of cell signal. I have become way to reliant on my phone for everything. Just the thought of not having service sends me into a panic. But that's not my biggest fear.

I fear making a huge financial mistake that empties my bank account. I fear losing my home, living in my car, and eating from a dumpster. But even that is not my biggest fear.

My biggest fear is something out of my control happening to my kids. When Abbey was really young, I read a blog (Back in the babyhood years of blogging) of a mom whose daughter had cancer. I held Abbey as I read about the passing of her daughter and couldn't wrap my head around what the mom must be feeling. But, my fear for them goes beyond cancer. Anything that can cause them extreme pain, suffering or death terrifies me. Its a hard balance of letting me them independent people that have some freedom to grow and learn and lock them up in a bubble and keep them safe from everything negative that might be out there. Its far scarier than anything that might me lurking in the shadows.

Whats your biggest fear?

Helene in Between Blogtober

I made a mistake

I switched my comments to Disqus. I hated the constant spammy comment notifications. I thought that Disqus would help. I guess it has to an extent, but the problem I am having is that I now all my notifications go to my spam folder even when it isn't spam. I am also getting duplicate notifications randomly. I wish I had kept my blogger comment area. Does anyone know how to go back? I've tried goggling but haven't been able to figure it out.

Dyslexia Awareness

In addition to Breast Cancer Awareness month it is also Dyslexia Awareness month. I have tried to remember to post a dyslexia fact on my facebook page everyday, but I forget. Because, really I hate facebook and only check it randomly.

If you have battled the boredom that is my dyslexia link at the top you may have read that my youngest is dyslexic. Since her diagnosis 2 years ago I have really picked up the cause. There are so many misunderstandings about this disorder.

I remember when I was in college, I heard on the news that Bill Cosby's son was dyslexic and I remember thinking how sad is that, that he will never be able to read. A few more years of college and I knew a little more about the disorder, But nothing compared to what I have learned over the last 2 years.

I do a literacy training for teachers and one of the things I focus on his what is dyslexia and what you can do to help someone with it. These are the answers to the top questions I get asked about dyslexia.

  • You never out grow dyslexia but you can learn to read and read well with the proper intervention. Emmy is finally reading at grade level. Now if we can just work on her fluency and speed, which school puts a lot of emphasis on.
  • Orton Gillingham style literacy programs are the best for dyslexics because it uses a multi sensory approach to teaching. There are some school systems in Kentucky that use this style in the RTI programs. Our school district does not, but that didn't stop us from purchasing a program and tutoring at home. It really made a world of difference.
  • Reading ability has nothing to do with intelligence. It took me a long time to adjust to this. I use to be all about standardized test scores and reading levels. Now I care about what she really knows not what is regurgitated for a test.
  • There are some awesomely famous and successful dyslexics like Henry Winkler, Charles Swabb, The virgin mobile (and airelines guy) 
  • Dyslexia affects about 10-20% of the population and runs in families. I didn't realize until we had Emmy diagnosed that dyslexia has levels like autism does. Emmy is moderately to severe. I would be considered mild. I was able to get through school without too much reading trouble. But it really is more of a problem with numbers for me. Numbers still move around on me when I try to read them. Yeah balancing a checkbook is fun....so is dialing a number. My sister is also dyslexic more on the moderate to severe level like Emmy. Thankfully Abbey seems to have taken after her dad.
  • Having dyslexia is a real kick to the self esteem. You really need teachers who understand and will be a cheerleader for your child. I have been so lucky to have some awesome support from Emmy's teachers these last two years. I can't even tell you how wonderful they have been and how encouraging of Emmy to do more and grow as a learner. I get teary just thinking how her teacher last year started the process of turning Emmy and her struggles around. She will always be remembered fondly at our house.
I don't want to plagiarize someone else's work so if you want to learn about signs and symptoms of dyslexia please go check out this page Bright Solutions for Dyslexia. I strongly encourage you to do so. I never fail to encounter at least one family who suspects someone they love has dyslexia when I speak out about it.

How I choose NOT to vote for a candidate

I don't know about you, but I didn't think this day would ever get here. I get so tired of hearing about candidates. I get tired of them showing up at my house, the ads everywhere and their smiling faces  from every print source.

I originally wrote this post for the primaries. Since today is the general election I thought I'd share some ways I chose a candidate, when I can't  decide another way.

 Here is the top 5 ways I eliminate candidates.

1. If you feel the need to tell me that you are a "life long resident" of this great county. I will assume you are saying non life long residents like myself are less qualified, no matter if we have lived here for 20 years.

2. If you feel the need to plaster crosses or any other christian symbols on your sign, I will avoid you. I have no problem with Christians. I'm a proud Methodist. But, I don't believe in using Christ to gain voters.

3. If you have a dumb nick name. People you are running for office, its time to let go of your fraternity days and go by a real name. For the love of all that is Holy, how can I take a person called buttermilk seriously. I just keep wondering how did you get this name? Do I even really want to know? There was a whole news piece on nick names among Kentucky candidates. That's hard hitting news here.

4. If you chose to tell us your party affiliation when its a non partisan race, I'm going to assume you are not really willing to be bipartisan. Therefore I am going to keep looking for a better candidate.

5. Ok I know this is super shallow, but I will judge you based on how you look when you put your picture on your campaign material.

6. If your ads are super dumb and childish


Happy Columbus Day

I love Columbus day. Who would have thought to make a whole day to celebrate the great works of this man. I have to say I am a HUGE fan. I don't think he gets near enough credit for his accomplishments, even with a holiday named after him. I believe I have seen nearly all of his movies. Yeah I said movies. I'm Sioux did you really think I celebrated the life of the original Columbus day honoree? Yeah. not so much. (in case you are looking at the red hair thinking huh?!?!....Irish on mom's side, Sioux on dads.)

So in honor of Columbus Day I want to share with you my top 5 Chris Columbus movies.

1. Goonies (writer)
 Hey, you guys! I loved this movie and watched it a million times. Who would have thought that the Goonies would grow up to be massively talented adult actors. Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Corey Feldman, and Jeff Cohen I had a massive crush on Sean Astin, not so much in LOTR though.

3. Adventures in Babysitting (Director)
I remember the first time I watched this movie. I was sitting in the living room of my friend Heather's grandparents house. I laughed so hard. Secretly I had a crush on Thor too. Although years later when I realized that Thor from that movie was the guy with the creepy eyes from Criminal Minds it did freak me out to rewatch it.

3. Percy Jackson The lightening thief (Director and Producer) and sea of monsters (Producer)
I'm counting these as one. I love the Percy Jackson movies. I know they are for kids, but I like them as much as the kids do. In addition to a good storyline Percy is Dyslexic and has ADHD. I am always happy to see Dyslexia portrayed in a positive way. Its also Dyslexia awareness month. That has nothing to do with the movie, just a little fact I wanted to share.
4. Harry Potter the Sorcerer's Stone (Director)
The most beautiful of the Harry Potter movies, In my opinion

5. Mrs Doubtfire (Director)
I love Robin Williams. I especially love the scene where he puts the cake on his face, No clue what I laugh so hard at that. But anyway. this movie is hilarious and has a happy ending so its a win/win

So in celebration of all we owe to Chris Columbus have a Chris Columbus movie marathon, I know that's what I'll be doing. 

full of hate or just hateful

Have you ever disliked someone so strongly that the very thought of being near them makes you want to punch them in the face? The sound of their voice makes you want to scream shut up? What do you do about it?

It reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Lisa has a substitute teacher that hates her. In the end she tells Lisa that you can't like everyone and that sometimes you just hate people.

That is me. That's the situation that I am in.

I have gone over it a million times what is it that that makes me hate her so bad?
How can I get over this deep desire to just punch her?

Why does no one else see what I see? 

Thinkgs I learned while photographing seniors

Today I had the pleasure of taking pics of some senior band members for their senior night celebration. I had 4 girls and 4 boys. I  took pics of them separately and then group pics. The big thing I  observed.The boys are bigger diva's. How so?
  • They chose NOT to wear their hats so their hair would look good. The girls kept their hats on.
  • The boys wanted different poses. The girls were content with whatever
  • The girls had several ideas for group shots. They had to recreate the Abbey Road album cover, but with one kid being hit by a car. (the car was parked)
  • It was all in good fun. But really cracked me up because I would have thought that the girls would have been the divas. 



I am so excited about this Friday. I have been looking forward to it for forever.

  1. Its the start of my Vacation. The girls have fall break next week so I decided it would be a great time to take a week off. 
  2. I am going to my hometown to our annual festival. 
  3. I have big plans of sleeping in, staying up late watching Scandal, and doing jobs around my house
  4. I made my first house payment. That may not seem like something to high five, but getting here has been such a journey I am enjoying all the little things, and yeah that even means writing that check every month
  5. I took the girls to the homecoming parade. It was nice to be able to walk there instead of fighting traffic. Emmy loved it she kept thanking me. Even though it was mostly just cheerleaders, ball players and other organizations on campus. 


September Choose Your Own Adventure Challenge

Last month I joined Stephanie, Steph, and Ashley's Choose your own adventure challenge. September's theme was fitness. I chose the goals of
  • Walk one mile everyday
  • Walk to work at least once every week
So how did I do?

  • Week 1: Missed walking on Saturday but walked a total of 12.5 for the week
  • Week 2: Skipped Friday but walked 14 miles for the week
  • Week 3: Forgot to write down the week but I didn't skip any days.
  • Week 4: Skipped Sunday but walked  11.5 miles for the week 6 of those miles were on Saturday. 
I hate to admit while I did walk to my office , it wasn't for a work day. I had hopes this goal would help me lose weight. Instead I have gained 2 pounds.

October is food. I debated cutting out Dr Pepper, but who am I kidding. So  I chose to make 1 new recipe a week and eat breakfast at least 3 days a week.

Oh and did you catch that I put this recap in a list form so I could count it for my 31 days of posts?
Not Entirely Perfect


This is the second time I've attempted to do a 31 day challenge with the nesting place. Not sure what the 31 day writing challenge is? You can read more about it here. Last year I attempted to talk about relationships. Except I forgot. I absolutely suck at relationships, and talking about them makes me pissed and depressed everyone who attempted to read it. There must be a reason my own father calls me a bitter person. So I quit.

October is always a busy time for  me because my oldest is in marching band, and October is the ending of our season. Which makes it the busiest. I've thought about this challenge off and on throughout the year and I've kicked around some ideas and shot them all down.

  • Wreaths- I don't have time to make a wreath everyday and also I am not a craft blog.
  • Dyslexia- While it is my favorite topic and it is dyslexia awareness month. Do I have 31 days worth of topics
  • Confessions- Promising but do I really have 31 things I am ready to confess?
  • Letters- Who would I write to?
  • Organization- I am still a major work in progress myself
Then I sat back and looked at my list and thought BINGO! I'll write about lists. So here is day 1 of 31 day of lists. I will have a page at the top that links to all the days.

Day 2: Choose your own Adventure Challenge recap
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