That time I almost got arrested at Wal Mart

It was a typical day. My sister and I and my 2 girls went to wal mart. Not necessarily because I needed anything, but pretty much because we were bored.

We did our thing and were leaving the store. Also as usual, we lost the car and were wandering the parking lot looking for it. That's when it happened.

As we were pushing our cart through an aisle a literal blue haired old lady driving a big ass car nearly ran us over. when we shouted (becuase we were scared.) She stops her car. To bad for us she stops her car right behind mine. We load the car with whatever we got and the kids. She is still sitting in her car blocking mine in. I walk up to her window to ask her what the problem is.

She starts Shreaking at me to get away from her car. I'm trying to be nice but she is freaking the hell out. I can't get her to move her car. So I go behind her car and write down her license plate number. She is still screaming.

I get back into my car and call 911. Then apologize because its not what I would consider an emergency, however I had no clue what the number for the police is. Apparently she also called the police. They are on their way.

When they arrive I tell my side and she says I hit her car with my fist and left a dent. The cop really had to try not to laugh. I am 4'10 how the hell am I going to punch a dent into a car? I told him she is obviously mentally unhinged and needs help. She then tells us her son is the District Attorney and she will have us all arrested. Now the cop was stiffing actual laughs. He explained to the woman that we don't have DA's in Kentucky that we have commonwealth attorney's and that he would be more than happy to turn over the walmart security cameras that show that I did not attack her car.

She flounced off into the store and I was left shaking my head. The cop told me to let him know if I heard anything from this "District Attorney"

I never heard anything from this crazy old lady. But I wonder about her, and if she is still allowed to drive.

Wednesday Confessions

I feel guilty about this confession, because I usually refrain from ranting about people I know, or who may read and become hurt by what I say. I have a heart.....sometimes.

 I really miss Abbey's band director. He left us at the beginning of the year to take a job in Texas. He ran a tight ship. He was also hyper organized with schedules and lists and people knowing what is going on, what needs to be done. It was like a male version of me. Total control freak. New director is a nice warm and fuzzy girl that is "being nice" and not making them practice on Monday's. By my math that is 21 hours of potential practice time that other bands are having. How the hell does she expect to win if we are wasting time. If she tells me she is just wants the kids to have a good experience I will scream. We have been a state level band for years. I am not sure I can handle this lax way of thinking. Our first competition is this weekend. We are the only ones in our class but we will be competing with everyone else for over all.

Just so you know what kind of crazy psycho I am. I look at all the bands in our class and track how they are scoring. I then check out the scores of the competition for overall and track them as well. There are a few bands we will compete for overall that has been scoring really well. I don't know how we compare since this is our first time out.

Vodka and Soda

the burbs

Have you seen the movie "The Burbs"? Tom Hanks lives in a quiet suburb and neighborhood until some freaky people move in. He spends the movie trying to figure out who these people really are and what they are up to. Its funny, and maybe on Netflix. Go watch it.

I have moved into the burbs. Actually I moved into our city but since I live in the middle of no where the down town is actually the burbs. I am on a sleepy little street. All of my neighbors are old. My next door neighbor is easily in her 70's. Because I am a nosey person, I tend to watch my neighbors. Being on the end gives me the advantage of seeing what everyone is doing.

I've lived here for a month, and in that time The neighbor across the street has never been home. Actually they were never hear when I was waiting for closing. I drove down my street many times and never did I see a car in the driveway, or lights on. Over the weekend. Suddenly lights are on. People are coming and going.

I find myself standing in front of the kitchen window watching the comings and goings. I get the sense that this could be the start of something very bad. Very bad for me. See, Tom Hanks became so obsessed with his neighbor that his wife leaves him, he goes insane from paranoia (ok not really insane but close enough), wrestles in the back of an ambulance with the freaky neighbor nearly dies. I hope that this is not my future. I really can't imagine myself wrestling for my life with the old lady next door.

If you don't hear from me in a few weeks you may want to stop by my house. I may need help on my neighborhood stakeout, or fighting off old people who may or may not be trying to kill me.


A very lame Wednesday Confession

This is a lame confession, but I have finally started watching How I met your mother. When it was on tv I honestly moved a lot and I'm sure there were times I didn't actually have cable. So, that may have been a factor. But, also, the title just sounded dumb, and why would you tell your kids a story about all these other women you dated, in detail? It just seemed too dumb for words. I know I couldn't have sat still an hour listening to how my parents met.

But, now that Netflix is what I have (and hulu that I never watch because commercials annoy me) and  I've become one of those crazy people who constantly talks about a show that ended forever ago as if it is brand new.

Vodka and Soda

Just one more...maybe

Two weeks ago I was in PetSmart. I can't seem to just  run in and run out. I have to look at the poor little animals up for adoption. One really stood out. It was a cute little grey tabby with only one eye. I am always drawn to the animals that are in the most need. I rescued my dog from a life of living in a camper trailer. All of my cats were rescued too, some from some pretty terrible situations. So when I saw the one eyed cat I felt awful for her, and thought about her all week.

Saturday I went back to PetSmart (its an hour drive from my house) to adopt the cat. First I called PetSmart. They transferred me to adoptions. Turns out they have two different agencies doing adoptions and I got the Humane Society but the kitty was with Paws, who was not answering their phone. The Humane society wouldn/couldn't tell me anything about another agencies pets. So I had to make the drive.

I went directly to her cage and almost cried when I saw a big Adoption Pending sign on her cage. I am so glad she is going to a home that doesn't mind that she is missing an eye and will love her anyway.

Westley decided he is tired of being the only dog in a house full of cats so he is incognito now.


I can be sweet

Its been said many nearly everyone I know in real life, that I am mean.

Yes, I am the person screaming at you for stopping and getting out of your car in the school drop off lane. But really, that is for your own good. People who work don't have time to leisurely drop their kids off. I barely stop when I drop mine off and am shouting reminders as they are getting out of the car. I just think if you have that kind of time, use the front door, its slower paced, and you can actually walk them inside.

Yes, I may shove your cart out of the way, if you leave it blocking the entire aisle. I may also look at you judgenly while your child throws a level 4 freak out in the store and causes mass destruction. I may also tell you what you can do to deter that. For one thing, you first messed up by giving in. No should ALWAYS mean no. Its not just for unwanted advances. If your child hits me with anything as I walk by your cart I will probably stop and tell you to control your child or leave them at home. (yes that has happened, yes the mom was talking on the phone and not paying attention to her child AT ALL)

Yes, I am the person that will write you a letter, telling you that you park like shit, if you take him more than one parking spot. 

But there are times when I am nice.

To the person who left their purse in their abandoned shopping cart (I'm assuming to take your screaming child outside) I took your purse to the service desk....You're welcome.

To the students who parked right in front of the no parking sign at my office, I hope you head my warning on the note and don't park here. I know its super convenient, but the owner really does tow.

I gave a friend of mine a clarinet and trumpet for his beginning band program. Its his first year teaching, and I want everyone to be able to play if they want to.

To the student this morning that got out of her car and walked right by the owner on her way to class. Sorry :( I would have left you a note warning you too, but considering you also parked right in front of the no parking sign, and flipped your hair as you walked past him, you were doomed. You're car is about a mile away, have fun walking. 

And proof that I am a nice person.....sometimes.


Putting it in prespective

There are times when I am seriously jealous of couples. Like when I see them show up at their kids sporting or school events together. I'm always the parent sitting with the other stray women whose husbands either had more important things to do, or like me, are single parents.

When I over hear him tell people that he is lucky to have her. I don't think I've ever dated anyone that felt like this. 

When I see old people helping each other. I once knew a couple, she was dying from COPD (lung issues). Every morning he would get up early and go have coffee with his friends and on the way home would buy her, her favorite Krispy Kreme donuts and bring it home to her. He told me he knew he could buy a box of them, but he knew hot and fresh was better. He's then sit with her while she ate. Time with friends is important but I adored how he carved out special time for her too. He made it special without her having to ask  for it. Yes they lived together and he saw her all the time, but he didn't make her feel like she should be grateful that she got to spend time with him and that he was escaping to visit friends. Another elderly couple were both feeble and half blind but he always opened the door for her and helped her out. It was super sweet to watch.

Then there are times that I am so grateful that I don't have to worry about it.

I train staff in addition to my day job. If you work in child care in Kentucky (not sure about other states) you have to have 15 hours of professional development training every year. Saturday I did a training. One of my participants was an older lady. After the training as I was cleaning up our space she came back telling me she locked her keys in the car. She asked to use a phone to call  her husband. While she attempted to tell him where her spare key was, he was berating her. It was so loud I could here him yelling about how she will never change and how she should put her keys where he leaves his. Blah blah. I felt sorry for her. His reaction was definitely over kill. Hell I lock my keys in the car fairly often. I once locked my house keys in the house so often I made 5 extra sets of the key and scattered it around my car and bags so I would always have one. She looked embarrassed that he was behaving like this. I would dread going home to that.

When I see memes like this:
Why in the world would you want to be in a relationship where he values a sport over  you?

I have 2 friends that were together on high school. Broke up because he was cheating, years later they get back together, get married and have 2 kids. He trolls for women on facebook and Craigslist that I know for sure about. It may also be dating sites but I know for sure of those two places. I don't want to have to worry about who my partner is talking to online, or what they are saying. If you are deleting messages so your signifigant other can't see them, then you are cheating. It may not be physical but its something. Otherwise why be so afraid you delete the message?

I'd rather not have to deal with that drama. 

Holly Grass. Powered by Blogger.

Follow by Email

Back to Top