Friday, May 31, 2013

A not so happy memory

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was standing outside of my high school prom. I wasn't a senior or even a junior. I was a freshmen, but I had older friends and we arranged for me to have a date for the prom. I wore a black and white dress that had one shoulder strap. My date wore a white tux. We were friends and neighbors. Prom was over and we were standing outside the school waiting for our friends to catch up with us so we could go to an after party. The night was hot for mid May. Standing outside I could smell fresh cut grass and I inhaled deep.  I heard the loud blaring of a ambulance siren and then saw the flashing lights. It was heading in the direction of the lake. A thought flashed through my head, I wondered what my cousin was doing at that moment. She was a year older than me and wasn't planning on attending prom. I shook the thought from my head and went on to the party.

I was at the party only a few hours when the phone rang and it was my parents saying they were on their way to get me. I was curious why they were getting me early. When they arrived they said She's gone you cousin is gone. Little did I know that while I was standing outside prom wondering what she was up to, she was slipping from this world.

No one knows for sure what happened. There was an investigation because it is highly suspected that she was murdered, Although the people she was with said she went into the lake to rescue a friend that couldn't swim and she drowned no one really believes that story. Its a small town, imagine a step up from the Andy Griffith Show and you have the local police. Nothing was ever done, questions were never answered. I remember visiting her at the funeral home and sitting with her boyfriend as he cried. Not really knowing what to do or what to say to anyone.

That was when I came face to face with the fact that I wasn't immortal. Just because I was young and healthy didn't mean I was guaranteed anything.

I've written so many serious posts lately that I think for the next week everything will be funny or at least light. I can't believe I actually finished the challenge and blogged every day in May. I hate to see the challenge end. I enjoyed having a prompt every day to keep me posting even when I don't feel like it.

I'm not sure I will be able to actually link up until later today though. I had to be out the door at 5:45 am to get to a conference for work. 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Letting Go

I'm suppose to react to the term letting go....

I'm not sure what to say. I have a hard time with change and this includes letting go. I hold a grudge like nobodies business. I hang on to clothes that don't fit, books I don't read, and friends that I've outgrown (or that have out grown me) because I don't like change. Letting go is giving in to the change. Good or bad it is accepting that things are inevitable.

So my reacting to the phrase letting go. I don't like to let go, letting go sucks. I refuse to actually let go unless I am forced too.

Wow this was a lame post. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but since I have to leave at 6:30am to get to a conference by 8:30 I seriously doubt it will be.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Music soothes the savage beast

This is the challenge prompt that shows you just how crazy my musical tastes are. Its also bringing us closer to the ends and making me increasingly more anxious. I think I need to discipline of daily topics. Maybe you should leave me a list of topics you want me to write about in the comment area.

This band is AWESOME! I've seen them live 3 times and would see them a million more except that they mainly tour out of the US. Its sad, it breaks my heart, but what can you do. The song I chose of their is an original of theirs (they are known for doing rockgrass versions of popular songs like Dirty Deeds. Look them up. I think they are amazing. More favorites of mine, that are originals of theirs are the Rider song and Alien Abduction Probe.
I shamelessly took this from their website. Which you should visit http://www.hayseed-dixie.com
I'm Keepin' Yer Poop in a Jar by Hayseed Dixie on Grooveshark

Next is the Goo Goo Dolls. I saw them in concert so  long ago I don't even want to talk about it. I can decide if this is my favorite or if Iris is. Either way. I adore them.
I Wanna Wake Up Where You Are by GooGoo Dolls on Grooveshark
If you know me you know I LOVE Metallica. I despise St. Anger and refuse to listen to it, but everyone can be forgiven a crappy album. I wish I could list all the songs that are my faves but that would take too much time. Lets just say Fade to Black and Nothing Else Matters will be played at my funeral unless someone wants haunted. This song I actually use to sing to the girlies when they were babies. I would make it sounds sweet instead of evil.
Enter Sandman by Metallica on Grooveshark
When I was a freshmen this guy that looked just like Anthony Kiedis pierced my ear. Never mind it couldn't be him because this was the 90's and I am pretty sure they were in LA making music and not hanging out in dorm rooms piercing ears. Yeah I know letting a strange rock star pierce my ear was stupid, but what can I say. It was the Chili Peppers.

Give It Away by Red Hot Chili Peppers on Grooveshark
Which I guess is not really music I like rather its an interesting story about a hole in my ear.

Last but not least. How can I have a list without The Man in Black on it. I LOVE Johnny Cash. I don't think he did anything I didn't at least like, but usually LOVE. When Heidi Newfield had the song Johnny and June I totally related. I love them. Is that enough loves?
  Cocaine Blues by Johnny Cash on Grooveshark

Monday, May 27, 2013

just pics (and a few words)

Todays challenge is just pictures. I can't do just pictures. So here are a few things I've been up to this holiday weekend.
1. Em passing time at the hospital
2. The neighbors dog came to visit Wes
3. Wes celebrated having a friend visit by rolling around in the leaves. I know he looks homeless. He needs groomed BAD
4. This is what I would LOVE to do in the bathroom
5. How I spent my weekend
6. Getting my hair colored
7. Em rocking a bun. This child has the longest, thickest hair I've ever seen
8. The Balloon launch for Emmy's friend Alexis :(
 
Only 3 days left of the challenge. I'm a little nervous that I won't have anything to say without prompts.

Dear Readers

Dear Readers

Let me take the time to apologize for taking the day off from blogging. I'm writing you this note mainly because today's BEDiM prompt is to write you a letter, but please don't expect anything profound or hilarious or hilariously profound. Basically, I just wanted to be able to say I finished the challenge. I wanted to feel the satisfaction of making myself put something on paper, even when I was busy or didn't feel like I had anything real to say. I do appreciate you. I love that people want to read the randomness that I have to say. I love the comments you leave and even if I don't respond or respond right away, I do read every one of them and am so happy that you've taken the time out of your day to see what I have to ramble on about. It makes me feel warm and cozy. So, thanks for stopping by. I'll now get back to what I was doing which was helping my girlies clean their room and making a shopping list for all the home improvement projects that I have planned. You are more than welcome to come help me paint or to move furniture for me. Hope you are having a wonderful Memorial Day.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

The post about nothing...

Today's BEDiM challenge almost didn't happen. Because...
  1. Its Memorial day weekend and I've laid on the couch for days watching crap on tv instead of looking for something to blog online.
  2. When I haven't been laying on the couch I've been doing some minor home improvement things
  3. I've been catching up on some much needed sleep
But IF I was online this is what I would be looking at. Other than Pinterest this is another site I have to look at everyday. Its how I can justify NOT buying silly tabloid magazines.
So hope you are having a great weekend. I hope I have more to say tomorrow.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

a walk down memory lane

Lets take a trip back to 6th grade. It was the end of the standardized testing. I was at best an average student. Honestly I hated school except for hanging out with my friends. I couldn't care less about things the teachers were trying to teach.

This particular year we had a sub from the beginning of the year until Christmas break when they finally found a teacher that would take the class. My sister had gotten Chicken Pox the week before testing. I had never had it, and it was before the vaccine was available.

So the first day of testing I feel like absolute shit. All I want to do is lay my head down and sleep. I don't itch anywhere but I am miserable. I hurry and finish the test so I can lay down until everyone else finishes. Obviously I didn't read the questions, I think I made a pattern with my answer bubbles.

When the morning testing was over we got a bathroom break the teacher pulled me aside as the rest of the class filed out. Once everyone else was gone the teacher said "Did you really try your best on this test?  (insert name of smartest kid in our class) is smarter than you, and you finished way before him"

Ummmm yeah he did say this other kid was SMARTER than me. I was stunned that he said that. Deep inside I knew this was true. Hell the guy he was talking about is a Dr. now. But you just don't say it that way. No matter how true it is, no matter how much you believe it to be true. I think for a few years it made me not care about trying. I already  hated school so why make an effort when the teachers already decided that I was dumb.

Hmmm....this reminds me of another story of epic failure of the part of schools. By the time I got to high school I realized the teacher that said that, while true was full of shit. I wasn't dumb I just hated how the information was being presented. So I found my stride and had an idea of how I wanted my adult life to be and just went with my own ideas. My grades were mostly above average except where math was concerned and that was average at best. I had my mandatory meeting with my guidance counselor to talk about college possibilities and goals. My counselor looked me dead in the eyes and said, "your a pretty girl you should be a hair dresser or something" Not taking away from hair dressers. I would die without mine. Jenny is the BEST. But I hated fixing my hair every morning so I would usually bring makeup and hair stuff with me to school and a friend would do it before classes started.

As a side note I made sure to send an invitation to my college graduation to my high school counselor. She said she was so proud of me and always knew I could do it. I laughed and said yeah I bet you did.

I thought I was done with the post, but I guess I'm an over achiever today. Either that or I am better at holding grudges than I thought. This last thing was said to me just a few years ago. Greg is an amazingly talented musician and gets asked all the time to play weddings and parties. This was at a wedding he was playing at. I was standing with the band which consisted of Greg, our friend Ben who was finishing up his bachelor degree in music and another friend that is a retired teacher. Another guy walks up and is talking about how he has a recording studio, and how he use to play on cruise ships. Blah blah blah about cruise ships. Its fun, easy money. Playing every day. He was really pushing hard for the guys to jump aboard the cruise ship entertainment idea. Without missing a beat he turned to me and said "and you can make the beds" I said honey I don't make my own bed. Why the fuck do you think I'd make someone else's. He didn't take to kindly to my anti excitement about his idea.

Friday, May 24, 2013

A facelift

I'll try to be a little more upbeat around here after last nights tragic post. I'm still a blubbering mess, but I'm trying to handle things better. So I guess I need to ask.

Did yall notice I got a face lift? I can't say enough good things about Shannon from Shannon Page design. She was in the middle of a move and still whipped me up the most awesome blog design. When I move I'm lucky I know where anything is. If you are looking for a new look, Check her out. She is super awesome to work with.
Shannon Page Design
 
Moving along to todays BEDiM. I'm suppose to list my top 3 worst traits.
  1. I'm impatient I like things done when I decide I want them done.
  2. I am easily distracted. I thought I had finished and published this post only to realize an hour later that I only had 1 thing listed.
  3. I like to control things. If I'm going to do something I want to be in charge of it.
 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

At nine years old

When your child is turning 9 you expect to be planning a party, a celebration of their life. A day of  presents and fun. A day of remembering stories from their earlier years and laughing. You expect to be picking out party clothes, party food, and all the little extra touches of things they love.

When your child is turning 9 you do not expect to be special ordering a pink casket. Thinking about what outfit she will be laid to rest in. You should not be thinking about their earlier years and weeping because that's all it will ever be.

Today I had to tell my 9 year old that her best friend past away yesterday, 2 days before her 9th birthday. I had to ask if she would like to attend her remembrance celebration to release pink balloons in her honor instead of her birthday party. I had to look into her confused, heart broken eyes and try to answer the question I had no response to, Why does a soon to be 9 year old die.

I've been so heartbroken for her family. No parent should ever have to bury their child, no matter the child's age. Its so hard with someone so young and full of life. I'm hugging my babies a little tighter tonight, telling them a few hundred extra times that I love them. I'm letting the small petty annoyances go because I realize just how quickly your life can change.

I know in the past I have ranted about the school Emmy goes to but I was pleased that the school called to tell me what had happened. Emmy's friends sister was worried about how Emmy was handling things. I have cried all evening. I just can't wrap my brain around this.

Things school didn't teach me

A top 10 5 list....

  1. That high school never ends. The world is a giant high school filled with high school drama.
  2. You really will not use all that Math they insisted you must learn.
  3. Some people are really, really mean
  4. Love is not all you need...you also need food and water and a place to sleep would be great....and it really does not conquer all.  
  5. I'm obviously having a hateful and bitter day and should stop at 5.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Rant

Today's blog challenge topic is suppose to be a rant about something. I don't really feel in the ranting mood today. so I'll just let you read Our Dyslexia Story. If there is one topic that can usually get me ranting its this one. Not that Dyslexia exists although it sucks, but that colleges don't take the time to educate future teachers on the topic. That when there was a free seminar by an expert on the subject the teachers that were present couldn't sit still to listen. If I moved once so people could get up and down, I did it a million times. They talked and talked amongst themselves. Which also annoyed me. This is behavior they would never let happen in their classroom because its disrespectful and yet they were doing it to the speaker. That I sent the information to my daughters school who belive me needed to hear the information. They could have even gotten free PD hours, but I didn't see any of them there. Hmmm.

So this is where the story begins. Its long and I apologize. But its a topic I am passionate about. There is no excuse for how this story goes down. There just isn't.

Our dyslexia story.....

I have a BS in early Child hood Development. I’ve taught preschool for years. My ex husband has a BS in Chemistry. Our first child breezed through school, her reading level was always at least 2 grades ahead of her grade year. She was the child that every teacher begged to have in their class. I was always the class mom....the one that arranged the parties and helped on field trips and any other last minute project.

Then Emmy started school.

Emmy. My sweet, hysterically funny, sensitive to everyone’s needs, can’t sit without snuggling in your lap (even now). I knew something was different as soon as she started preschool. She wasn’t in my class but in the room beside mine. She just did NOT grasp letters. She went into Kindergarten not able to write her name, not able to recognize her left and her right, not able to write her name.

But she could remember a song after hearing it once. She could paint the prettiest pictures and tell the most elaborate stories and Remember things that happened from the time she was two. I use to say don’t talk about things in front of Em unless you want her to quote it back to you later.

Kindergarten passed with me feeling frustrated because she didn’t get a lot of the concepts. She knew very little sight words spelling tests were a nightmare. The teacher was wonderful and we talked often about Emmy’s struggles.

First grade passed the same way. The teacher wanted to hold her back, but Em showed enough progress after Christmas to put that on hold. Again  the teacher was there to talk about the problems we were facing and we worked on strategies to try to over come them.

Second grade.

This is where our nightmare really begins. up until this point. We have had supportive teachers, the staff at the school treats us like people (that’s important for later) The teacher never spoke to us despite us showing up to every class party. She sent a progress report home at Christmas that said she MAY want to consider holding her back. I said I would be available to meet with her any time after school or any time on Fridays. I never heard a word from her, so I assumed everything was ok as it had been the year before. Boy was that a mistake on my part.
 

The last day of school her report card said that they were holding her back. I called the school requesting to speak with the teacher. She never returned my call, My ex husband did the same with the same results. I emailed her, no reply. I asked to speak with the principle. Still no reply. I asked several teachers what their thoughts were on how I should handle this situation. They all said I had given everyone a chance to respond so the next step should be the superintendent. This is what I did. I explained to him what happened; I asked that she call me. She did and I lost my temper because I was livid at how we had been treated. I wanted to know primarily why she never let me know when she could meet with me, Why she never helped me work on a plan to improve Emmy’s scores, Why she would go from Emmy MAY be held back to Emmy IS held back without a heads up. I never got those answers. So I called the super back and asked for a meeting with the principle, teacher, and counselor. They all showed up and it basically went down like this......The teacher said her piece, She didn’t push Emmy by giving her work on her level (she was doing well on her homework papers but we learned that they were 1st grade work) because she didn’t want her to hate school. I congratulated her on that because Emmy in fact hates school and never wants to go back. I told her that if I had ran my classroom (I taught Head Start at the time) that I would be fired. She should thank her stars that she has tenure because she is in fact the shittiest teacher I had ever encountered in my life. That was mean and pissy on my part but I meant it and I still mean it. The counselor gave us some reading pages to tutor her with. I mentioned that Emmy shows signs of dyslexia and I would like to have her tested. They all looked at me like I had grown an extra head. Said they didn’t know anything about dyslexia and that they didn’t know anyone to test for it that I needed to see our pediatrician for that. (That is false a pediatrician does NOT test for dyslexia.) I pointed out that we have the same degree and I knew about dyslexia so how did they get through school without learning anything about it. I got no response. My ex husband was also pissed and said his goal is to yes help Em but we know in the big picture Emmy will be fine because she has parents that support her education and are willing to do whatever. His concern is the other children that get this teacher and struggle and fail because she just doesn’t care. I left with the validation that she would not be held back but I knew we all had a lot of work to do. I needed to start tutoring her and research dyslexia.

Third grade

I began by going to the teacher before school started and said I really think she is dyslexic and we are looking into having her tested. I wanted her to know right from the start that her dad and I are supportive and that we can be reached anytime and we are willing to do whatever if it has even a hint of helping her. Education is important we understand that and want her to succeed. The year was a series of ups and down. The up we got her diagnosed with dyslexia. It cost us 900 dollars and I think it was the most well spent money EVER! The school said she doesn’t qualify for an IEP and her 504 doesn’t really cover anything that the dyslexia specialist suggested she try. I should mention that none of these accommodations cost. It was all free things. Emmy would leave blanks on her page because she was told to “do the problems that you know” which may work with a traditional student but with Em she would lose her place and leave several blanks. The teachers punishment was for her to write “I will not leave blanks on my page” By her having to write this she didn’t have the time to read and if the students don’t read 4 books in a week (hers was lowered to 2) then she couldn’t get fun Friday. She never got fun Friday because she was always trying to catch up. Imagine how this affected her morale? I am so sad for her. She is being tutored by us with a dyslexia specific program. Barton Reading for anyone interested.


I should mention that her teacher in third grade has taught for many, many years and I am sure she just does what she always does. She is a sweet lady, but obviously not enthusiastic about embracing change. She has been in contact with us all year long so we can work together to help. I love that about her. As we leave third grade and look ahead to next year I am scared for what Emmy faces. I'm scared we will have another lazy bitch like we had in second. Believe me it is all I can do to keep myself from posting her name and the name of the school. If I was able to home school her I would, simply because being where she is at is not the best thing for her. We are doing the best we can with the situation by giving her specific tutoring at home.

 I am not longer accepted at the school as I was before. I get the feeling that I’ve been labeled the difficult parent. I’m now the parent who complains. In my opinion that just translates into the parent that cares. The parent that fights for what is right.

 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Oklahoma

Today's challenge was to link to a favorite posts from your blog. While watching the news I can only think of one post that I would like to write. So please forgive me for skipping the BEDiM today.

My heart goes out to everyone in Oklahoma. Tornadoes are devastating. Living in Eastern Kentucky we were always lead to believe that we couldn't get a tornado. That our hills would protect us. All of that changed On March 2, 2012, the town I live in was hit with an EF-3 tornado. We had a crude wake up call. Our safe world was rocked. We no longer thought a tornado would never touch us.

The weather predicted heavy storms with the possibility of tornado type wind. We not really believing we'd get all that.We stocked up on food to eat in case we lost power. We bought new candles, and batteries and paper cups and plates. All the staples you'd need if you were without water and power.We have friends that live a couple of streets up from us. (all of us are on a ridge line that runs along the edge of "downtown". They have a basement and invited us up to ride the storm out with them. We declined because we were still holding out hope that everything was going to pass us by.

 A little after 6 the wind started. Wes was going crazy. He sensed something BIG was about to happen. You could hear a train whistle even though we don't live near a train track. I looked out the window and it was like the scene in Wizard of Oz where debris was flying outside the window and the sky was black. Greg begged me to get in the closet. I wanted to see what was going on, but thankfully curiosity lost out and i climbed in the closet. It was loud outside. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Wind so loud it made you want to cover your ears.

It passed quickly, and we left the safety of the closet to see what the damage was. We were pleased to notice no damage. Maybe it wasn't as bad as the weather predicted....if only that was true. The silence was deafening. I never understood that phrase until I experienced silence that made me want to jab at my ears with something pointy. Anything to make the silence stop. We had no home phone. But I still had limited cell signal. I got a text from my sister that said "watching the news you were hit by a tornado. Are you alright?" I replied, "yes we are fine no damage." then my signal died. Little did I know she heard reports that we were hit again and decided to come find us.

Not knowing that outside the street we lived on was nothing short of chaos. Our street which over looks McDonalds is about a quarter of a mile from the hospital and about a half a mile from downtown. We decided to go check on our friends since the phones were dead. We get to the end of our street and turn onto theirs....we can't pass because there is a tree down. I move the tree because it was small. We drive a few feet and there is another tree down, this one bigger and we can't move it. We turn around and decided to try the alternate route to their house. It would take us past the hospital. We get almost to the hospital and the road is blocked....by a house. We turn around stunned. We just can't believe what we were seeing. Little did we know this was just the tip of the devastation.

Downtown is gone. The bank Greg banks with is gone. The police station, utilities, 3 banks, courthouse, and numerous businesses and churches...all gone.  The hospital is still standing but heavily damaged.
Here is our police station.
This is the view from the hospital looking down onto the town.
 
All of this was less than a mile from us. While this was going on we were sitting around listening to the news and trying to think of a way to leave town so we could get a message to people that we were alright. We go to sleep that night in disbelief of the whole situation.

 But those were hours that lasted days. We were too scared to be hopeful that anyone survived. We were blessed that only 6 people were killed. That is of course 6 people too many, but when you consider what it could have been. 6:00 pm downtown on a Friday? That was a recipe for mass casualty. We are so grateful that it wasn't worse. I am hesitant of even using the word blessed to describe it. Of course we were spared by the grace of GOD but that makes us feel guilty too. What made us more blessed than others, or more blessed than two churches, one of those churches was over 100 years old, the other my friends husband is a pastor at. Our friends had only minor damage. A window was broken and all of their outdoor stuff was destroyed. The tornado traveled through the field in front of their house none of their neighbors were spared, some completely lost everything. Survivors guilt is a hard thing.

Its now a year past the anniversary and town is starting to buzz with growth. There are still empty lots where businesses were. A grade school is still using an old warehouse for classrooms. But this is a town that isn't going to give up. They have vowed to rebuild and they will.

My heart goes out to Oklahoma in a way that it probably wouldn't have two years ago. I would have sat on my couch and said wow that sucks and said a little prayer for them, but I could change the channels and let it be out of sight out of mind.

But today I watch the tragedy unfold and I know what they are feeling. I know the emotions that are so varied and so strong you feel you must be going insane, because how can you be happy, sad, scared, excited, worried and guilty all at once? Emotions border on hysteria.  I look at the buildings that are torn apart and I feel the anguish, the worry, the sadness so strong that sad doesn't adequately describe it. I also feel the hope that they feel. Hope that they can rebuild, hope that they will see loved ones that are missing. Hope that this is the last tornado that they will have to face.I still say Wow that sucks and I still say a prayer but I can't forget about Oklahoma. I turn the tv off and my heart is still hurting for everyone in Oklahoma including one of my best friends from high school. She lives in Oklahoma  City, but got word to us quickly that she is fine but so many of her friends are not. I had nightmares last night, relieving our experiences. I feel I need to do something to help them in their time of hardship to honor those that helped us start our path of recovery and rebuilding.

Please pray for those suffering and if you can spare a few dollars please donate it.

****Update here are two ways to help*******

The Calipari Foundation will be donating $10,000 to the American Red Cross for the victims and families affected by this horrendous tornado in Oklahoma. I'm sure the Big Blue Nation (UK Basketball fans for anyone who didn't know) will continue to step up and help too like they always do. Text “REDCROSS” to 90999 for a $10 donation to help the tornado victims in Oklahoma.
BGCO Disaster Relief www.okdisasterhelp.com My friend posted both of these on her facebook as ways to help.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Struggling along

Something I'm struggling with....

This may seem like such a whiny baby post. But here ya go.

This is what I'm feeling at this moment. Greg always goes camping memorial day weekend. He has done it as long as I've known him. This year he isn't going with the people he usually goes with he is going to camp the next town over. His college percussion instructor is having a HUGE retirement party on Saturday. So people from his whole career are going. As he prepares and plans and gets excited I am noticing something.

He doesn't do that with me. We've talking about going places and doing things, but never do we follow through with anything substantial. I pointed this out. I asked if he could possibly make time for me (this is also coming from the point that he has been in bed every night by 10 for the last couple of weeks) He said oh yeah we can build a camp fire one evening this week. I lost it. I truly lost it. Oh no no no. People do not get 4 days of fun and I get a lousy couple hours in our backyard. He said well we have plans to go to Lexington and shop (its a day trip) and we are going to Kings Island next weekend. Also a day trip and also a band trip.

Don't get me wrong. I love shopping and I love amusement parks but why is it other people get a mini vacation with him and I get a random day? We've talked about spending a weekend in Gatlinburg for years, its never happened. Neither has the camping trip he's been saying we will take. (last time I camped it was a nightmare that left me with pneumonia and emotional scars.) I don't really care what we do but I'd like a little vacation too.

He asked why I was bringing all this up now and being all jealous about it. I'm not laying around bored all weekend. I have plans and am excited about the plans. But, I am feeling that spending time with me hasn't been a priority. When I mentioned that he said well we live together. Yes and I think that's all the more reason to do something fun that doesn't focus on people in the hospital, or housework.

Am I wrong in my thinking? Gosh this seems like such a stupid thing to be saying I am struggling with. But in general my life is fine. I didn't win the 600 million lotto but I can say it was at least fun to spend the money in my head.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Blogs I love



I use to write starting about 10 years ago for Moms today part of BabyCenter. It was before I had heard of a “blog” but that’s what I did. I was basically a mommy blog. I could barely pump out a post a week. Don’t get me wrong. I think my kids are fabulous but there is only so much I can say about them before even my eyes glaze over.

That site closed and lots of people started writing blogs. I really miss some of the women I followed at back then and wish I could find them. I started a blog too, because I missed the outlet. I got bored. I started to write another...I got bored. I learned that I can’t just limit myself to one genre. I am just too ADD to write about parenting, or education, fashion, or organization all the time. I then discovered this thing called Life Style Blogs. It was like a light going off. I could totally do something that didn’t pigeonhole my topics.
 
That being said I LOVE a good education blog. I LOVE organization, fashion, and of course lifestyle. I admire the women I am about to give a shout out to for being able to come up with topics every day.  

So here are my 5 favorite blogs.

Organizational Blog  http://iheartorganizing.blogspot.com She is amazing. If you like organizing, IKEA hacks, decorating and generally looking at pretty pics of room then you really need to follow her.
IHeart Organizing

Fashion Blog  http://forlaurenandlauren.blogspot.com/ Katie can make anything look good. She is rocking a pregnant belly and I’d still love to steal her outfits.

Teacher Blog http://www.prekinders.com/blog/ I no longer teach but I still follow teaching blogs and pin teaching ideas like its a second job.
PreKinders
Lifestyle Blog http://www.bourbonandglitter.com I’ve told you all how wonderful Stephanie is before so why haven’t you gone over there and started following her yet....no excuse people. Go ahead and do it.
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And last but not least www.thepioneerwoman.com/ 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Princess Buttercup



I may have mentioned my sweet little Shih Tzu named Westley. He’s my sweet snuggly boy.
But did you know Westley use to have a girlfriend named Buttercup. (a shout out to all the Princess Bride fans) 

I met Buttercup several years ago when I was working for home health.  One of my patients had just gotten her from their neighbor. Who allowed her to drink beer. The patient of mine lived in a house overflowing with roaches, gnats, and a stench that could be smelled from outside the house. To get by I would stick vicks vapor rub up my nose so I could do what I needed to do without puking.
The only bright spot to this visit was a liver colored Shih Tzu they called Nikki. She would run to the door when I would come in and dance around wanting me to pick her up. I did my job as quick as I could and then pick her up and snuggle her. She was matted, she was stinky, but under all of that she was so sweet. She had brown eyes that would melt you. She was so starved for love. The owners weren’t, mean to her, but they didn’t really pay any attention to her either.

Every day I visited I would say...You should let me take this cutie home with me, my girls would just love her. I said this every day.
My sister had a White Shih Tzu named Scarlet and around this time her ex boyfriend kept the dog in their break up. She was heartbroken.
Soon after Heather lost Scarlet I visited this house with Nikki and again I said you should let me have her. This time they said yes. I picked her up as quickly as I could and hurried out to my car. The little sweetie wiggled from her head to her tail when I left the house with her. She looked up at me with the sweetest brown eyes that were so full of gratitude. 

I called Heather and asked her if she wanted a Shih Tzu. She started screaming YES! YES! YES! I took her home and bathed her. It took me 3 times to get her clean. Heather came up that night and got her new lovey. When Heather first met Nikki she said Oh my sweet buttercup and it was love at first sight between both of them. Heather renamed her Buttercup and was the niece I never had.

 I accidentally ran over Miss Buttercup a few months ago and killed her. It broke my heart. I cried and had nightmares for months afterwards. I couldn’t back out of my driveway without having an anxiety attack.We've decided we need to start a Shih Tzu rescue. We want to call it Princess Buttercup's home for wayward Shih Tzu's.

Friday, May 17, 2013

A pictures worth a thousand words

This is one of my favorite pictures of me. I was a freshmen in college. That's my natural hair color. I absolutely love that lip stick and I can't find it anymore. Life is about to change and I didn't even realize it. I don't have a care in the world.....except maybe what Frat parties am I going to on Thursday night...Was party night Thursday at your college too, or is it because everyone went home for the weekends at mine?
 
This is before 3 engagements and 2 marriages and 2 divorces, before 2 kids, before 7 moves. Before more jobs that would suck the life out of me than I can count.
 
This is the second.
This is what I like to call my Kate Gosselin pic.
 
 


Thursday, May 16, 2013

Woe is me?

Or is it?

Anyway. Today's topic for the BEDiM challenge is Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it.

I have nothing. 

Does that seem weird? Seriously though, my life is not perfect, far from it. but I am an optimistic person and I believe things work out. If not exactly how you want them, then in a way that you can learn from. 

As Hannah Montana said "life's what you make it....so lets make it rock" Ummm did I totally just quote Hannah Montana? Go ahead and kill me now.

Seriously though. I am at a great place in my life. I'm a single mom, but I actually like that. I have a great relationship with the girls dad. We have joint custody and see each other the same amount of time. We don't have any of the petty crap I see a lot of divorced couples have. To be honest our relationship is better now that we don't live together. I think we are both doing a fantastic job.

Greg is a nice guy. Like a REALLY nice guy. The kind of guy that would bend over backward to make sure you were doing well. He is so great to the girls that it melts my heart.

Would I like a new car...YES! (and if you want to buy me one I'd love a new Camaro...Black only though). Would I love a bigger house.....YES! but none of those things are a need. They aren't a driving passion of mine. I'm content. I like my lot in life.


 


Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Days of Our Lives....

or at least my life.

I have dreaded this day on the BEDiM challenge. Because I have a completely boring life and I didn't want you to feel sorry for me, for how bland it is. So here ya go a typical day in my life.

Disclaimer: I didn't take all of these pics in one day. Its over a period of time. I assure you though its a typical day in the neighborhood.

  1. Ugggh I can't believe I posted this pic of me first thing in the morning. My eye bags have eye bags and you could drive a truck through my pores.
  2. Moving on....I fix Emmy's hair
  3. Tell Abbey that she looks weird in fake nerd glasses....But the Def Leppard shirt is awesome (it use to be mine I bought it at a concert)
  4. I go to work, in a closet. I love my job, my coworker.....just not the windowless closet I work in. But good news we are looking at new office space.
  5. I feed the kids. 
  6. Visit dad at the hospital
  7. Thats my girlies and my sister lounging around the hospital
  8. Someone tries to escape the hospital....not dad although he would if he could
  9. Then I chill on the computer until I fall asleep
There ya go... except for pics of me snuggling the animals its a typical day. 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

10 things

I Hate about you that makes me happy.

I could probably more easily at this moment write about the 10 things I hate. Since that isn't the challenge though I will try to push on and find 10 things that make me happy.


  • My Girlies.
What a terrible quality pic. I have no idea where this was even taken, I just found it hanging out on my phone.

  • My Shih Tzu Westley and Cats Tiger, Sam, Katniss, Rue, and Sammy Davis Jr. (We are arguing over SDJ's name. Abbey hates it. I think its funny since Sam is the dad. You are free to weigh in on your thoughts. Also if you want two kittens Rue and SDJ will be available in about 3 more weeks. I'm starting to feel like a crazy cat lady....please don't call animal hoarders on me. I'm begging you.
Only Tiger wanted to pose for a pic
  • The smell of fresh cut grass. I could just lay on my deck and just breathe in, whenever someone is mowing. Notice I said SOMEONE. I've never mowed and probably never will.

  • flip flop weather, which we haven't had yet. I'm starting to feel like I live in some crazy state like Alaska where it is cold all the time. Its middle of May and I am wearing a sweater!! (not that I actually think Alaska is crazy...just that I'd never live in a state where it was that cold all the time. Polar bears are cool though....yup that was random sorry)
  • How my hair looks when I leave my hair dresser. I have seen the same stylist for 200 6 years and I adore her. She mixes my own personal color for me. ooops I guess I let the cat out of the bag that I am not a natural red head. Sorry to disappoint my hair is actually an extremely dark brown. (Did you read the about me where I said my great great grandfather was a Sioux chief...seriously John Grass google him. That should have  been the clue that this carrot top is not the real deal) I do have green eyes though so it works and most people I meet that don't really know me assumes I am some cool genetic freak that was born with red hair, green eyes, and a tan year round. Seriously I've had been stop me and comment on how awesome it is that I am not a ghost.

  • My job! How many people can say their job makes them happy? I really hope everyone raised their hand for that. I have not always loved my job. I use to work for Head Start and I hated it. Love the principle of head start. Loved the kiddies and my immediate coworkers. My bosses were horrible horrible people. Hi ex bosses....just in case you are stalking my page. They were rude, rarely had a kind word to say, everything was the end of the world. The pay stunk. Current job is awesome. I have a wonderful boss that supports and challenges and is a cheerleader for us. My coworker is fantastic. I look forward to going to work everyday. That is once I get past my dislike for getting out of bed.
  • Bacon. The number one reason I could never be vegetarian.   
  • Getting presents for no reason
  • A clean car....this actually rarely happens. Ex husband #2 use to clean my car out all the time...that was nice, except sometimes he would lecture me about how awful it was. Like I didn't already know.
  • Sleeping in.