Why I won't be Black Friday Shopping

Happy Thanksgiving!! I know some of you are carb loading today, so you can survive the Hunger Games Black Friday Shopping. I've been there, I've done that. I will never do it again or at least not anytime in the foreseeable future. I admire all you black Friday shoppers. You are brave people. I realized several years ago that I don't have what it takes to black Friday shop. I am too weak, I am too wimpy. I am too lazy. I've complied a little list for y'all so you understand just why you won't be seeing me out on black Friday.

  1. No deal is good enough to get me out of bed that early. Especially since to even remotely get to a store worth shopping at I'd have to drive. 30+ miles to the nearest WalMart and 60+ for anything better than that. Yeah I weep for me too. 
  2. Crowds. I hate people. Not you, I love you. Its other people I hate. Its the people who wander aimlessly, the people who stand in the middle of the aisles, the people who are running around frantic, the people with a million questions, the people in PJ's. Hell I know its the but crack of dawn and no sane person should be out of the house, but come on but some pants on. Who am I kidding people don't wear pants to the store anytime during the day much less 3:00 am day after Thanksgiving. 
  3. Screaming kids. Ok so maybe there aren't a huge amount of screaming kids at black Friday, but there are screaming and crying adults. So what If I've just snatched the last hot new toy from your cart. Is that REALLY a reason to cry like a baby? I think not. Basically this just goes back to hating people. 
  4. Long lines. Lines waiting for the doors to open, lines waiting to check out. I am not a patient person AT ALL. I went to get my oil changed yesterday. I REALLY needed to get it changed since I am driving to Cleveland OH this weekend. When they told me that the wait was going to be 2 hours I said bye. I just can't do it. I waited with Emmy at the dr for an hour and 15 before we were seen and we had an appointment. I can't handle this. I also couldn't handle that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was on, but that's a different post. 
  5. Not getting what you wanted. I went every year for about 3 years wanted the 5 dollar mini chopper. I NEVER got it. They are always sold out. I started to wonder if this 5 dollar chopper even existed. I'm thinking it did not and it was a ploy to get you into the store to buy the 94" TV for 200 dollars. So after years of going home with a cart full of junk I didn't need a no mini chopper. One year after taking a decade long break from black Friday I decided to go with my mom and sister. We had a plan. We divided and conquered. Mom stayed stationary and watched the cart. Heather and I would weave our way to the different areas we needed stuff from. Slide under the manic crowd and grab from below. This worked AWESOME! I got the barbies Abbey wanted. The Cabbage Patch Dolls Emmy wanted. I felt on top of the world. Then I started running into family members asking What does your girls want for Christmas. They had that deer in a headlight look. They were panicked and you could tell. You would have thought it was 7pm on Christmas Eve. So I started pulling from the cart. I got to the check out line and realized I just Christmas shopped for everyone in my family except for myself.  
So this year, while you are up before its even really gotten dark out, and you are standing outside in the cold or inside in a stuffy line smelling the people around you who decided today would be a good day to skip a bath. I will be sleeping and waking up late eating my weight in bacon and watching junk on tv while shopping from the comfort of my couch. But if you happen to see the elusive 5 dollar mini chopper pick me up one. 

2 comments

  1. After reading all of those articles about why Black Friday is a rip off, I especially don't plan to wake up at 5 AM and elbow some old woman in the face just to get in front of her. Most stores either unload stuff that wasn't selling, or they'll trick you with the bait and switch by advertising "iPad, 50% off!!!!" ... only it's the second generation iPad, and it comes with practically no cool features. Yay, sure glad I beat up an old woman for that!

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  2. The lines are insane. I've done Black Friday several times and it's the lines that got me. The people weren't too crazy. But the lines? Ugh.

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