Lets talk about cheating

 There have been lots of public drama about men who can’t keep it in their pants. Lamar, I’m looking at you.  I like to carry it further than just sex. I even go further than President Clinton. See, I think if you are sending erotic pics and/or texts to someone who is not your spouse/significant other that is cheating too. Emotional cheating is just as bad in my book. Anthony Weiner, I am looking at you here... and also the married guy who sent me a message last week telling me how hot I am.  Wow! I am such a buzz kill. But, sometimes you shouldn’t stand by your man or woman.

Sunday night during the Miss America pageant, Miss Minnesota said she thought women should stand by the man they fell in love with, but that the husbands should get it together. My thought is, were the men standing by the women? Were they thinking of their wives when all of this was going down? I’d say that is doubtful.

 Here are my reasons why I don’t think you should stand by your man/woman if they are cheating.

1.      You don’t accidently cheat. It doesn’t just happen. You make a decision to send a sexy text; you make a decision to arrange a meeting. If you try to use the excuse that you were drunk and didn’t know what you were doing then you should stop drinking.

2.      Public Embarrassment. Having your spouse drag your name through the mud with him is a million times worse than walking into a fancy dinner with your dress tucked into your tights, or falling down the stairs with toilet paper on your foot while carrying a tray of glasses.

3.      Cheating is a way of checking out of your relationship. If they have checked out, what makes you stay with someone who is choosing someone else?

4.      Cheaters will cheat again unless the reason why is fixed, but honestly some guys are just selfish dumbasses and that’s the reason.  

5.      They aren’t standing by you. Why are you giving loyalty to someone who isn’t loyal to you?

I know that saying, I do is making a commitment. But I think sticking around when they don’t value that commitment is pretty unhealthy for the cheated on spouse.
I’m not trying to come off as self righteous. I will admit I cheated. My reasons were I felt unloved and alone. I felt that I could do no right, that I was ugly, fat, and useless. I wanted to feel beautiful again.  When someone started paying attention to me, I didn’t want to resist. I wanted to feel good about myself again and that meant I needed to cheat. My experience with cheating taught me a few things. One of them is I believe that just because someone cheats once doesn’t mean they always will, it just means that they will as long as they are getting needs met from the cheating. I haven’t cheated at all since I have been with Greg and I haven’t felt tempted.
 
I have a post planned for later this week/early next on the things my divorce taught me. I won't go into it all now. But, sometimes it really is better for the kids if they can see two happy parents that work together. Its better than two hurt, bitter, angry parents that are together for the sake of the kids. 

1 comment

  1. Hey! I found you through the giveaway on Stephanie's blog. This seems to be an issue that has grown. I simply do not believe I can stick by someone who is cheating. It is not only risky health wise, but it just is morally wrong in my opinion. Great post:)

    ReplyDelete

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