Dear Douchebag

Let me start this letter by saying that while alcohol lets you speak the truth, I am stone cold sober and I am speaking more from the heart than if I had just drank  an entire 5th.

You are the biggest most pompous ass I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. I have a deep sorrow in my heart for your family. It must be hell to have to put up with your sorry ass. I count my blessings that I don't have to take your shit.

Now let me tell you how I REALLY feel.....

Its obvious you hate women. I don't need my sociology background to realize that your father and his "father knows best" raising has conditioned you to believe women are inferior and beneath you. I have news for you. I am inferior to no one, especially someone as pathetic as you. If you expect me to be subservient and bow to your superior ways then you need to think again. Because you aren't even superior to a flaming pile of shit.

I don't appreciate having outright lies made up about me. But if you were going to make up a lie at least use what little brain you have and make it  sound like something I would do/say. It just makes you look ridiculous otherwise.

You are in a unique position with me. Usually if I am attacked I unleash a hail storm of vengeance that is terrifying for even outsiders to observe. As Taylor Swift said there is nothing  I do better than revenge. However I feel sorry for you. Your narrow minded thinking has painted you into a position that makes people whisper behind your back about how awful it is. Not me, I point out that you brought it all on yourself because you are a boorish pig. But I can also see that your life is unraveling at the speed of light and you are dangerously close to a nervous break down. While I would enjoy nothing more than pushing you over the edge and watching you emotionally and mentally crumble. I can't do that to the few people who actually think you are worth pissing on if you were on fire. Maybe I am not as heartless as I thought.

So while you sit back and plot ways to hurt me I will be watching you, and waiting for the moment that you are back on your feet so I can knock you back off. Because other than revenge no one holds a grudge better than me. So I guess it all boils down to, you picked the wrong female to piss off.

If you think this letter is about probably is :) Have a nice life douche bag


  1. I love everything about this :)

  2. I bow down to you. Get it girl!

  3. this is great, i hope it also helped to write this! sadly, douchebagarities is a disease without cure.


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