Struggling along

Something I'm struggling with....

This may seem like such a whiny baby post. But here ya go.

This is what I'm feeling at this moment. Greg always goes camping memorial day weekend. He has done it as long as I've known him. This year he isn't going with the people he usually goes with he is going to camp the next town over. His college percussion instructor is having a HUGE retirement party on Saturday. So people from his whole career are going. As he prepares and plans and gets excited I am noticing something.

He doesn't do that with me. We've talking about going places and doing things, but never do we follow through with anything substantial. I pointed this out. I asked if he could possibly make time for me (this is also coming from the point that he has been in bed every night by 10 for the last couple of weeks) He said oh yeah we can build a camp fire one evening this week. I lost it. I truly lost it. Oh no no no. People do not get 4 days of fun and I get a lousy couple hours in our backyard. He said well we have plans to go to Lexington and shop (its a day trip) and we are going to Kings Island next weekend. Also a day trip and also a band trip.

Don't get me wrong. I love shopping and I love amusement parks but why is it other people get a mini vacation with him and I get a random day? We've talked about spending a weekend in Gatlinburg for years, its never happened. Neither has the camping trip he's been saying we will take. (last time I camped it was a nightmare that left me with pneumonia and emotional scars.) I don't really care what we do but I'd like a little vacation too.

He asked why I was bringing all this up now and being all jealous about it. I'm not laying around bored all weekend. I have plans and am excited about the plans. But, I am feeling that spending time with me hasn't been a priority. When I mentioned that he said well we live together. Yes and I think that's all the more reason to do something fun that doesn't focus on people in the hospital, or housework.

Am I wrong in my thinking? Gosh this seems like such a stupid thing to be saying I am struggling with. But in general my life is fine. I didn't win the 600 million lotto but I can say it was at least fun to spend the money in my head.

9 comments

  1. I think you're right. You need to spend time away together too. It's the only way to truly unplug from everyone else and focus on each other.

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    1. and with all I've had going on, I NEED to unplug.

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  2. I think it's hard when you live together, cause it doesn't occur to you to make time. But he needs to! Vacation together is the best, he should make time for it.

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    1. He should. I told him yesterday that I'm just not holding my breath waiting for it. I know that sounds harsh, but if it hasn't been a priority yet, it probably won't be later.

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  3. Glad you have fun things planned for yourself while he is gone. I can understand your frustration... Start planning that Gatlinburg Getaway!

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    1. We should. We've talked about it off and on since we've been together.

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  4. Well, I never lived with someone before (other than house mates) but I guess you sort of get into a routine, maybe he is excited to do something else...I dunno. But in any case he should be enthusiastic about going on little adventures with you :)

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    1. I guess I should add we just moved in together the end of February.

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  5. Oy! I live with my boyfriend as well and its so easy to fall into a routine that includes no "us" time. Varying schedules and life just push the relationship to the side. I know how hard it is to see them all excited over a trip with "others" when you don't see that same excitement towards you. I would just be heartfelt and honest and just say I really need time with You now and then. Have you guys ever taken the 5 love languages quiz - its hokey but insightful. I found out I was TOTALLY rejecting the way my boyfriend shows affection, because its not how I show affection. Hope you find your way to Gatlinburg soon :)

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