First day of school blues

Its the first day of school for my kiddies and my boyfriend (different school systems) This is how my day begins. I wake up with a giant head ache. I am not sure if this is caffeine related or not. Something tells me it is stress. I leave early so I can stop by Emmy's school and talk to her teacher. Em and school stresses me out completely. Read archieved posts from early in the summer to get the whole story. The abbreivated version is. We had a horrible teacher last year. She didn't contact us at all with any problems and apparently there were major problems because she tried to hold her back(without a conference or prior notification) They say Emmy can't read and that she needs to be in 2nd grade again. She moved up and I can't remember exactly but I want to say like 4 reading levels last year. They say she has no comprehension of what she is reading. I worked with her all summer and this is what I noticed. She CAN read she is just terrified of it. She has NO confidence in her ability. None! She can read every single word on a page but if you put it together in a paragraph or heaven help her a book she gets so caught up in the fact that it is BIG and she literally has an anxiety attack. They say this is because she isn't ready. Not sure why not instilling the confidence isn't the most important thing instead of letting her continue to have anxiety. This reminds me of two situations.

Abbey needed braces. We had been seeing the orthodontist for months for prelim consultations. When it was time to get the braces on the orthodontist asked Abbey if she was ready Abbey said no because she was nervous. So the orthodontist said they were going to hold off another 6 months. I said if they wait for her to be ready it will never happen. I took her to a different orthodontist and she had her braces put on in a matter of weeks. She gets these braces off in 3 weeks.

Mike's dad has social anxiety disorder. He was literally trapped in his house by the fear he had of being outside in public. He lived like that for over 5 years. He got sick and was forced to go into the hospital. Now he is able to get out on occasion. All of this is because they had to.

Emmy didn't walk until she was probably 15 months old. I was worried. She would stand up on things and hold on to things and just never walk alone. I left her in the church nursery one Sunday and when I went to pick her up I mentioned how she doesn't walk. The ladies in the nursery didn't say anything but the look they gave me said differently. I watched Em closely and caught her walking....then she HAD to walk and she did.

I can't wait until she has the confidence in her own ability to get up and walk. It kills me that people don't have the belief in her ability that I have. It kills me that she doesn't have the self confidence in her own ability. I think that is what hurts the most. That she is scared to spread her wings and fly.

I cried today when I left her school. I cried because I know my baby and they are looking at scores and tests and grades. It breaks my heart. Her new teacher who I had to fight to get my child into her room told me that Em just may not be ready to read and she didn't want me mad at her. This tells me that the committee told her how mad I was about the teacher last year. I assure her that as long as she keeps me posted about everything then we will be fine. If Emmy is really struggling then we will discuss moving her to a different class. Actually, Mike and I have discussed moving her to a private school. Financially this would be all on my shoulders but If it is what is best then I will do what I can.

~Holly

4 comments

  1. She'll be ok. At least this teacher is understanding. I bet the last teacher wasn't helping her at all or giving her confidence. It never helps a kid to say "oh it's ok if you can't do this, if it's too hard for you" Of course she's discouraged! I think she'll do much better in this new environment, definitely. Good luck girl!

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  2. I know she will. She has two parents that are committed to her doing well. It just frustrates me. I have had a massive headache all day. I decided to take my BP and its trouugh the roof. Shew I need to relax. I have too much drama going on.

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  3. This is breaking my heart! I can't believe the teacher never contacted you. Crazy! Praying for a fresh start and a supportive teacher for your sweet girl.

    Megan
    http://msjonesjunction.blogspot.com/2012/08/monday-made-it.html

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    1. We went round and round about this at the begining of summer. Not only did she not contact me, but after she held her back it took me contacting the superintendant to get her to call me back. Last year I taught Head Start and I told them, If I treated my parents like I was treated I wouldn't have had a job. I have since moved out of the classroom. I have cried and cried all morning. I want whats best for her, I am just so frustrated. As a former teacher and as the girlfriend of a teacher, I do try to sympathize with what they are going through. But first and foremost she is my baby and I feel at a loss to help her.

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